The Tales of Two Icicles

“Mom! Dad!” Barefoot screamed. I was frozen. They were plunging, plunging-you know what? Let me back up a little bit.

Episode 1

Slippery Icicle

The name’s Slippery Icicle, but I just go by Slip. I’m a 12 year old girl, and a horrible storyteller. Oh, I’m sorry, did that sound too negative? Let me add on some sunshine and rainbows for you! Um, and I get sarcastic when I’m nervous. So where to start, where to start. I guess here…

“B.F!” I yelled, pounding on his door, my towel hastily wrapped around me. “What?” he shouted back from the other side of his door. I threw the door open. “Did you put all those dead bugs in my shampoo again?” I demanded. “No. The Hair Fairy did,” he said, rolling his eyes. I went into my room and changed, then I jumped my brother. A girl can’t stay like that very long. Unfortunately, it was pretty hard to throttle him when he had no neck. He shoved me off and massaged the base of his head (which was really pointless, maybe he was trying to make up for his lack of neck). I finally got a good, long look at him as he eyed me warily. Barefoot (he prefers B.F, but who cares) is my older brother. He’s fifteen and a half and he reeks of aftershave. I grabbed his phone and flipped it open. Of course. 13 texts from his girlfriend, Happy Fish. He swiped the phone away. “Give that back!” he said, his face turning red. I was about to prank call Happy saying it was from him, when my parents called up the stairs. “Kids! Dinner’s ready!” They said. I sighed. They got in the middle of some pretty good arguments between us sometimes and then I lost my phone for a week and he got off scot-free. “Race you down the stairs!” B.F yelled. He didn’t even take them, just slid down the stair rail. Figures. By the time I got down, he was already wolfing down his steak. “Kids,” said my dad, Sticky Icicle. He’s a tough looking guy, with sunglasses and a pointed beard. “We have a surprise for you.” my mom, Cuddly Icicle, chimed in. “We’re going to the beach!” B.F was so surprised, he spewed out all of his steak on the table. Nasty. I couldn’t help laughing, or at least not until Dad shot me a dirty look. That shut me up. “Remember last time? Have you lost your minds?” he demanded. Ah…yes. Last time. The only beach is on Shark Tooth, and we went there 6 years ago. B.F had gone swimming and lost his leg to Booga, so he had replaced his leg with a peg leg. That’s probably why Happy started dating him- because she thought he looked like a “warrior.” So, obviously, he was terrified of the place. “It’s alright, son,” said Dad. “I heard they got the shark thing under control. I forget his name…” He looked at my mother for support. “Cuddly Lion,” she offered. “Thirty-seven island completer.” I sighed. That guy was all over the news. Lion this, Lion that, who cares. B.F likes to tease me and say that I like him, but I think he’s really just a normal guy. B.F still looked hesitant. “Are you sure?” he asked Mom. “Positive,” she replied. My brother relaxed. “Fine.” Mom squealed. “Oh, sweetie! We’re going to have so much fun! We rented a beach house on Hammerhead’s island, nice and private-” “-so no one will be able to hear us scream for help as we get eaten alive by a shark,” B.F interrupted. I smiled. That’s my brother. Existing just for argument’s sake. My mom gave him a look and continued “-and we have a flight from Golden Blimp Services, Inc.” That got my attention. I loved riding Golden Blimp blimps. Trust me, it’s not the flying part I love. Air travel makes me sick. Nah, there’s this really cute boy who runs the wheel, and he’s only thirteen-not much older than me! I keep on trying to make my move on him, but Barefoot keeps getting in the way. He’s read all three of my diaries four times, and if he loved to read books as much as he loved to read my secrets, he would be on honor roll. But he’s not. The point is, B.F knows I like him, and he keeps on trying to ruin things for me. But this time would be different. I could feel it in my gut.

Unfortunately, my gut was right-this time would be different. But not in the way I had hoped.


Episode 2

Barefoot Icicle

‘Sup? It’s B.F. I guess Slip already introduced me, so let’s skip right up to packing. So while she packed her thousand pairs of shoes, I stole her phone and played Forgotten Islands for a while. I’ve always been a little jealous of her. I’m the older brother, I’m almost 16, and I get a crummy flip phone. She’s three years younger and she has a pPhone 7s! It’s not fair! Oops, getting off topic. So Slip came in to grab her phone, cause she had left it charging. She saw me playing it, came over, and slapped me. She’s got a fiery spirit. That’s gonna scare away quite a few guys. [Shut, up, Slip, you know it’s true.] She grabbed it out of my hands, and I gave her a crooked smile. Hey, not my fault I’m a jokester. Dad tells us stories all the time about stealing Aunt Grumpy’s phone. She’s not very well-named, Aunt Grumpy’s the nicest lady on Poptropica. “We’re leaving in two hours, Slip!” Mom yelled up the stairs. I huffed. That’s another thing-they treat her like she’s the oldest, and more responsible. It makes me want to vomit. I stomped into my room and sighed. I could almost feel my leg burning, the shark’s teeth sinking into it. But I couldn’t feel my leg anymore. My leg was a big pile of shark poo in the middle of the Shark Tooth ocean. All I had was this big hunk of wood. Whenever I meet someone, no matter how open-minded or polite they are, they always stare at my leg for an uncomfortable minute, mouth open, eyes gawking. I just like to be known for who I am, not that poor kid with the peg leg who everyone feels sorry for. Heck, I’d rather just be totally ignored. This is not fun. I snatched my phone up from the bedside table. “1 hour!?” I said, not believing it. How had so much time already passed? Whatever. I texted Happy. She replied immediately.

Me: What’s up?

Her: Hi sweetie!! Why haven’t you been answering my texts?

Me: Because you sent me fifteen in the last five minutes?

Her: Just wanted to make sure you were doing amazing, baby!

I sighed. I liked Happy and all, and I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, but I needed to dump her. She was driving me nuts. I knocked on the door. “Come in,” said Slip. I walked in. “Hey, B.F, guess what? Nameless is coming with us to the beach! And she said that her parents aren’t coming and our parents will probably just be sunbathing, so we get the whole island to ourselves!” I groaned. “Come on. Nameless?” I actually didn’t mind, Nameless is actually really nice. [Yeah, I said actually, Nameless. I notice you don’t interrupt when Slip’s telling the story.] But still, she’s my sister’s friend, so I have to pretend to hate her. She knows it’s an act and likes to tease me and say I like her. [I don’t, Nameless! Drop it!] “Kids!” Dad yelled. “Nameless is here!” Slip squealed and ran downstairs. Unfortunately, she took her phone with her this time. I need to be more careful to see if she’s watching. When I came downstairs, Slip and Nameless were chatting on the couch as my parents threw them a couple of sodas and some chips. They offered me a soda, too, but I said I wasn’t thirsty. As Nameless sipped on her soda, she asked Slip, “How’s it doing between you and that cute guy who runs the blimps?” Slip blushed at that and glanced over at me, trying not to laugh. Her expression changed and it clearly said, “If you embarrass me in front of my friend, you will never see the light of day again.” That shut me up. She’s the expert of dirty looks. She dropped her volume down quite a few notches, and whispered, “I’m planning on making my move this time.” That Β piqued my curiosity. It’s fun to mess with her love life. “Let’s get in the car, guys,” mom said. “Gladly,” I replied, with a mischievous smile on my face. Both Nameless and Slip looked at me suspiciously, especially Slip. Three hours ago, I had been saying I never wanted to go again, and now I was acting as friendly as the Pillsbury Doughboy? She figured something was up. She has some good detective skills, I’ll give her that. I ran upstairs and grabbed my duffel bag and jumped into Dad’s car. We drove half a mile before he turned the rearview mirror to face me. “You do like that girl, don’t you?” he asked. Oh, no. Well, at least Slip and Nameless were taking Mom’s car. They would have been torture if they heard this. “No!” I said, my ears turning an uncomfortable crimson and darkening into a deep purple. He nodded skeptically. “Of course you don’t.” But we drove on in silence. About twenty minutes later, we pulled in to the big airport Golden Blimp uses. I saw that guy that Slip likes waving to us as we found a parking spot. As we got out of the car, I cracked my knuckles. Time to get started. “Hey, guys. Glad you could make it!” He stuck out his hand to shake mine. Hooccchh…PTOOO! I spit into my hand and shook his. Dad looked disgusted. “Barefoot Icicle! You apologize this moment!” I turned to him and gave him a mocking smile. “Sorry, bro,” I said. He looked a little grossed out, but he wiped his hand on his jeans and said, “No problem. Hey, isn’t that your sister?” I raised my eyebrow. He almost sounded a little hopeful. “Yes, Speedy,” my dad replied. Ah, Speedy. That was his name. Speedy Tomato. “That’s her. Again, I’m sorry for B.F. Here’s a tip.” He handed Speedy a five dollar bill. As Nameless came over, her eyes widened and she whispered frantically to Slip. She glowered at me, like “WHAT DID YOU DO?!” I shrugged and grinned. She looked about ready to punch me, but she restrained herself. She didn’t want to look bad in front of Speedy. So she came over and gave him her cutest smile. “Hey, Slip,” he said. She looked overjoyed, as if him remembering her name meant “Will you marry me?” I rolled my eyes. Mom jogged over. “Hey, Speedy,” she said brightly. She turned and winked at my sister. “So! Where’s the blimp?” asked Dad. A confused look crossed his face. “What blimp?” He studied our astonished faces for a few moments, then burst out laughing. “Nah, I’m just messing with you. Behind the building.” And, still chuckling to himself, he brought us to it. “Priceless,” I muttered. “Ha ha.” Β We climbed into the blimp. I sat next to my dad, who sat next to Mom, who sat next to Nameless, who sat next to Slip, who sat next to-who else- Speedy. We were going up really high when Speedy frowned. “Sorry, guys, we have to go a little higher. I know Β it’s warm, but we have to let one of the bags drop.” Meanwhile, I was tying Nameless’s shoelaces to the ropes. Speedy let the bag fall. And Nameless was tugged out of the blimp and started to fall, screaming for help.


About reilly ford

man i hope no one clicked on this profile in the last five years it was looking rough

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