Episode 10

Barefoot Icicle

I could feel everything about me changing. I tried to fight it back, but a sudden hunger took me over.

Blood. I craved blood.

No! I couldn’t! These were my friends! And-I glanced at SD, paralyzed with fear-hopefully some more than friends. But I couldn’t fight it. I raised my head to the stars and I let out an unearthly shriek. They all screamed, but that was before they saw Bard. As I’ve heard, he snuck behind me and tackled me after knocking me out with a large dumbbell. I was out cold. And I’ve seen some pretty weird dreams before. These were, by far, the weirdest. I was flying in a barren wasteland with people-REAL people-screaming as I licked my lips and dove for their nice, meaty necks. And I was happy. Yeah, it was a little screwed up. Correction: I was a little screwed up. [When I was a VAMPIRE, Slip! Shut up!] One thing I knew for sure-if I didn’t get somewhere dark by daylight, I was a goner. I rolled over in my sleep. And I nearly fell off a table. I opened my eyes as a pair of hands grabbed me and hoisted me back up. How I longed to bite him, to strike him, but I was too weak. Apparently I had been stuck with a tranquilizer dart after the dumbbell. I vaguely remember a face with many scars and reeking of garlic studying me before leaving and putting another person with me. At that point, I was fully awake. I opened my eyes and found a girl scribbling things down on a clipboard and glancing at me, but more in a “What an interesting specimen” way than a “Wow, that guy’s hot” way. She finished and put down her clipboard as I struggled to get up. She patted me on the chest. “Easy,” she said. “I’m Silly Sword. We’re gonna make you better again.” She gave me a reassuring smile and I let out another shriek. She had turned on a desk lamp that, when knocked over by me, started shining on my chest and slowly gouging a hole through it. Oops.

She ran over and put the desk lamp back where it belonged, this time off. I heard a knock at the door. “Is that you, Mr. Von Garlic?” she asked. “It’s me, Silly, just open the dang door,” the person replied. She opened the door and he stepped in. He was muttering to himself, “I’m getting old, why did I have to take up vampire curing, every time one of them escapes a ward we’ve got four more going around…” And that’s when he looked at me. His expression softened slightly. “Hello, B.F. My name is Cactus Von Garlic. I’m going to cure you.” I struggled to get up again, but he saw it. He snapped his wrinkly hands and ropes sprang up and tied me to the bench I was lying on. It was then that I noticed my surroundings. I was sitting in an all-metal room with boxes of garlic and crosses stacked everywhere. There were two stake and hammer sets-you didn’t have to be Einstein to figure out what those were for-leaning up against the wall. Crosses flanked the door, so I couldn’t get out if I tried. In short? A vampire murdering room. It was almost like Cactus read my thoughts. “It’s nothing like that,” he said. “I’m a vampire savior. Ever since Cuddly Lion-” I let out a guttural growl from deep inside my throat- “-showed me the way to save vampires, that’s all I do. This is the VPA, the Vampire Protection Agency. We cure unfortunate vampires and send them back home.” He sat down. “Is there anyone who could tell your story?” he asked. I opened my mouth, and with a voice like a rusty gate opening, I said, “I can.”

He looked overjoyed. “Amazing! It takes most people turned vampires years to relearn English! Do tell us what happened, though.” I reluctantly told him. The more I talked, the more afraid I became. If it took some vampires years to relearn English, how did I, a fifteen year old, know how to already? Was I going to be a vampire forever?

When I finished, the smile disappeared from his face. “Oh, dear…” he murmured. “What is is? What’s wrong?” I asked in the rusty gate/Transylvanian accent I had adopted. “I don’t know how to cure this,” he admitted. Part of me felt elated, but the other part was terrified-and fortunately, the terrified part controlled my mouth. “Why?” I asked desperately. He looked at me with pity. “Son, the only way that I can think to cure that would be to track down the man who caused it and get him to lift the enchantment. We do have good news, though,” he mentioned, as though determined to prove he was a success. Part of me had it’s spirits lifted slightly. “What is it?” I asked curiously. “Well, that curse was…unusual. Most vampires I deal with have been bitten. Maybe that’s why you could talk immediately. But those other vampires-they stay vampires. Morning or night. They can’t go outside. In your case, you should be fine. Because this particular case-it seems you morph into a vampire every night now and change back every day.” Now I felt better. As I waited, the sun rose. I could feel my body lift into the air again. The fangs sunk back in. The wings make a shlooping noise as they slid back into my shoulder blades. The color went back into my skin. My eyes burned slightly, and when I turned to the mirror, I could see myself-no wings, no fangs, no red eyes, no white skin, just me. B.F. Icicle. Von Garlic gave me his business card (and Silly gave me my phone, which she had been playing Angry Brides on for the last three hours) and I was on my way. I stepped out into the lobby. Everybody saw me and came over to hug me….

Except SD.

I thought she wanted to talk to me, so I went over. She punched me in the stomach. I was shocked. I thought she liked me! And then the color drained from my face as I heard her say, “You didn’t mention you were a vampire.” She punched me again, so hard I flew across the room. Tears streamed down her face. “FREAK!” she screamed to me. And she ran out of the room, leaving me feeling like I had just puked my guts out, which I then did. “SD,” I said weakly.