Episode 6

Barefoot Icicle

So, yeah. Speedy was an orphan and we learned in about three seconds that his parents were alive. Oh, and our parents had been taken by an awful villain.

What else was new?

I didn’t recognize the name at first, so I pulled up Piri. It gave me a short bio. “Binary Bard was an ordinary man named Mordred who lived on Astro-Knights when he fused himself and became half-man, half-machine. He plotted to become ruler of the universe by marrying the princess of Arturus and becoming king, but his plan was foiled by Cud-“

I put Piri away.  I knew what it was going to do-give me a long, boring story about Cuddly Lion flying off and saving an island-AGAIN. Talk about unoriginal. I turned to Slip. “How exactly did you get a vision?” I asked. She shrugged. “Same way Speedy’s parents survived that fire, I guess. Luck.” I was still suspicious. Nameless stood up. “What are we waiting for? Let’s go to Astro-Knights and beat him up!” she said. So reasonable. Speedy nodded. “I try not to get in fights,” he said. “But he’s gonna PAY for what he did.” And I had a feeling he wasn’t talking about the fire-probably talking about him hurting Slip. Slip sighed. “It’s not that easy, guys. We couldn’t even get where he was imprisoned-assuming that he was still there, which he isn’t.” I looked at her. “What?” She sat down on a bit of beach chair that had been ripped off after the crack. I winced just thinking about it. She beckoned to all of us to sit down as well. I ended up with my butt wedged in a flowerpot and Speedy and Nameless attempting (badly) to hold back the laughing. “He isn’t there anymore,” she explained. “Zeus brought him to Super Villain Island, to Erewhon prison, and when the prison got blown up-” “by Cuddly Lion, I bet,” I interrupted. She glared at me. “Yes, B.F. What did you expect? That guy’s everywhere.” I grumbled and my butt went in a little farther. “-Binary Bard escaped, and no one’s seen him since. No one’s seen Captain Crawfish, Black Widow, or Dr. Hare for a while too-they escaped with him. But we don’t care about them. The point is, we have to find Bard before we drill him.” I stood up, without realizing the flowerpot was stuck. It fell off and shattered. I blushed. “Let’s start at Super Villain. It’s possible he’s hiding around the area still,” I said. Everyone looked at me strangely, but that might’ve been because of the bits of flowerpot at my feet. It also could have been because I was not usually the one who offered ideas. But they hastily nodded and we clambered into the boat. There was the annoying guy again. “¿Dónde están tus padres?” he demanded. I had a translate app with me, so I checked it. “Where are your parents?”

I shoved him out of the boat.

At least I pushed him on shore. When he looked up, we were jumping out of the boat. He yelled a string of words that I probably didn’t want to translate. We climbed into the blimp and Speedy navigated us to the island. The real surprise? We found Binary Bard immediately. He was sitting on a rock behind the jail with a tin. His metal face was deformed and splotched with something that looked suspiciously like seagull poop. His one red eye was cracked, and his wide smirk was replaced with a look of great concern. When he saw us, he raised his hands in defeat. “Please don’t hurt me!” he cried. I’m not kidding-he actually started crying. It made him short circuit a little bit, so we sat down next to him. “It’s okay,” Slip soothed him. “We’re not here to hurt you.” He raised his tin to us. “Spare change?” he pleaded. Speedy’s eyes lit up. I didn’t really like that glint. “Bard?” he asked. Bard looked at him. “You used to be a villain, right?” he asked. Bard nodded. “I was one of the best. But now…no more. Erewhon was better than this.” He feebly waved his hand at the imploded tower behind him. “And it takes a villain to know a villain?” he asked. Bard nodded again. “Then can you come with us?” This caught me so off guard, I tumbled off the rock. Bard immediately used a hand extension and grabbed me. I pulled out my phone. It was ruined. “Noooooooo!” I screamed. Bard scootched over. He waved his hand over the phone, and it was fine. My mouth dropped open and I turned to Nameless and Slip. “We’re taking him,” I announced. He broke into a grin. “Thank you! Thank you!” he said. Slip nodded her head ever so slightly, and Nameless smirked. “It makes sense. You’ll need him to fix your phone, probably about seven more times,” she predicted. I punched her in the arm. Yep, things were going back to normal. Speedy smiled. “Come on, Bard. Let’s go find that villain.” The first thing Bard did when we got into the blimp was pull a privacy curtain around one section. When he came out, he was as good as new. “Just in case we need to battle someone,” he explained. “I need to be ready.” Slip and  I looked at each other and came to a silent agreement: It hadn’t been him. I admit I was a little suspicious with him acting so vulnerable, but he would have hurt us by now if he had wanted to. Then he studied me and the grin disappeared. “Um, why do you have a mustache?” he asked. I didn’t say a word, just pointed at Slip. He nodded knowledgeably. “Sibling rivalry, eh? I know what that’s like. I used to have four brothers-Gawain, Agravain, Gaheris, and Gareth. But…after I became what I am, I never saw them again.” The look of pain on his face made me feel sorry for him. “Guys, why don’t you get some rest? I’ll watch Bard,” suggested Speedy. We tried to protest, but it was so obvious we were tired that we were just out. Just like that. And a couple hours later, I woke up to see a flash of lightning headed for our blimp.