I sat down slowly. “This-is-AWESOME!” I looked around me in disbelief. Whoever took over Hammerhead’s island seriously knew how to decorate. Five bedrooms, a pool with a hot tub, a vending machine, a ping pong table-you name it, we had it. I was about to run off and jump into the pool, when my parents surprised me. “Oh, B.F?” they called. I groaned, sure they were about to give me some lame rules. “Turn around, son,” Dad called. I turned and I almost was blinded. There was a really big flash of white bouncing off a screen. Wait…a screen? I ran over, no longer miffed. “Yeah?” I asked. I didn’t notice this, but as I was in a trance, Mom waved to Speedy and Slip. They held hands and started walking behind the beach house. “Son, we know you’ve been mad about your phone,” Dad said. “And, um, we felt kind of bad since your sister has such a nice phone. And-and you know the pPhone 10s just came out…and we got it for you.” My eyes widened. My peg leg almost fell off. “Dad-I don’t know what to say!” I exclaimed. He smiled. “You could start off with, ‘I honor you, my lord,’” he said. Then he burst out laughing. I couldn’t help it- I did too. Maybe this vacation would be good after all. Once I finished my sixth bottle of Pop Pepsi, Dad walked over and showed me the ropes of my new phone. It had Pava, Adobe-don’t even ask how they got that into a phone-Piri, unlimited talk, text, and data, and one thousand credits to buy apps. And seeing as an app costed half a credit? Things were looking up. I spent about an hour personalizing my new phone, and then I found out it refilled it’s battery by itself. How cool was that? So I walked over, and that’s when I noticed Speedy and Slip giggling and talking like a couple of third grade girls. She saw me, and the smile was wiped off of her face. “Hold on, Speedy,” she said. He kissed her on the cheek and went swimming. As soon as he was out of hearing range, she walked up to me and said, “Speedy and I are dating now.” Oh, great. Now I had to deal with them all day. “Well, ha ha on you. I just got a pPhone 10s!” I mocked. She facepalmed herself. “Oh god, you’re stupider than I thought, B.F. I guilted our parents into getting you that phone.” I stopped laughing. “Oh-um-well, thanks for doing that for me,” I said uneasily. I felt like a jerk. She gave an exasperated sigh. “I didn’t do it for you,” she said. “I did it for me.” I stopped smiling, even faking it. “Wha-what do you mean?” I asked. I felt dizzy. She slapped me. I was so mad-and yet I couldn’t do anything. I felt like the biggest jerk in the world. Now I knew what she meant. That was when I realized where they had come from earlier. She must have talked to Mom and Dad while I was asleep on the blimp. So that she could spend time with Speedy. So that he could fall in love with her. “You getting it now?” she asked furiously. She stomped off, and I felt terrible. But the first thing I did? I called Happy. I can bet you knew what I was doing. I punched in *67 after her number so she wouldn’t know my new number. She picked up. “Hello?” she asked. I grimaced. Here came the hard part. “Happy, it’s B.F. Look, I know this is sudden and I’m only saying it once. I’m breaking up with you.” I could just hear her gasp of disbelief before I ended the call. Happy wasn’t really my type anymore. She was too cheery. Sometimes she felt more like a creepy fan stalker than my girlfriend. I sat and thought about the first day I met her, and where our relationship went from there.
We were in second grade. I was zooming along my little toy dinosaurs in pick up trucks, when one of the girls bumped into me. I almost said “Ew! A girl!” until I saw her face. She was gorgeous, and she was studying me too. If perfection existed, this was it. And then the bell rang and I was dragged inside. I never forgot about her. And then in my freshmen year, I saw her in the hallway, looking even better than she had then. I kind of hung around her, laughing when she made a joke, picking up her pencils if she dropped them. Finally, on the second to last day of school, I asked her out.
Would it surprise you if I told you she said yes? I didn’t think so.
And now I was a sophomore, and I was over her. To be honest-there was one special girl I had my eye on, but I couldn’t tell her now. [No, Nameless, it wasn’t you. I’m starting to think you like me.] But things change. To be honest, I hoped it didn’t happen to Speedy and Slip.
Yeah, you read that right.
Speedy was a cool dude, and a guy I’d like to have as a brother in law. [Yeah, I said it, Slip. Don’t tell Speedy though, cause trust me, you don’t want him to change that.] I got up from my thinking spot and went to join the party. Speedy and Slip were making out in the water (avoid the gag repress), Nameless was swimming laps, and my parents were lying on a pair of beach chairs. It was hot-it had to be at least ninety. I was about to jump in when the ground began to rumble. Nameless stopped. Speedy and Slip came up for air. My parents heard nothing. They had music on and a book in front of each of them. We all ran back into the house and yelled for them. But it was too late. The ground split open and swallowed up my screaming parents. “Mom! Dad!” I screamed. Slip didn’t move, even when Speedy shook her. I held Nameless back. And a flash of silver disappeared into the crevice with them. It started to close up. I ran over, but I was too late. The crevice was closed. My parents were gone.