The Tales of Two Icicles, Episode Three

Episode Three

Slippery Icicle

“Nameless!” I screamed. Call me stupid-I ran over and jumped off of the blimp. My hands closed around her ankle. “If we die, we die together!” I told Nameless. “NOT HELPING!!!!! SOMEBODY GRAB US!” she yelled. Good point. This was it! The ground started to come up closer, closer…

And my foot caught on a rope.

I barely moved as Speedy reeled us in. It was the strangest thing-I could have sworn I saw a flash of silver run by, throw up the rope, and run. But probably just near death hallucinations. As we got into the blimp, I walked over and promptly punched my brother in the stomach. Neither Mom nor Dad objected. He doubled over, wheezing and looking like he was going to cry, and then set his jaw. “Didn’t hurt,” he decided. I could see my vision reddening. “Do you want another one that will hurt?” I asked. I set my fist up high, ready for another blow, when Nameless grabbed my arm. I struggled to fight free of her grip. “Let go, Nameless! He needs a taste of his own medicine!” Nameless looked at me, almost sad. “That’s my girl. Feisty,” she said. I lowered my hand a little bit. “Nameless, it’s his fault we almost died!” I complained. She shushed me. “I know. But he was just playing a practical joke. Being an idiot. Like always.” B.F frowned at that description. “I’m right here,” he said. “I know that, you moron, that’s the point!” Nameless snapped. He shrank back into his seat and her voice became calm again. “Look, it was an accident. It’s my fault for letting my guard down.” I sighed and put my hand down completely. “You should be a psychology major,” I said. She smirked. “Maybe I will be,” she said. “Now get some rest.” I layed my head  my head down on Mom’s lap, and soon I was asleep.


My dreams were garbled and confused. I came to a strange part where I saw a masked face typing in words to a keyboard. He looked up and grinned. “Ah, Slippery Icicle. I’ve been wanting to talk to you.” I said nothing. I couldn’t. My voice didn’t work. “What’s the matter? Cat got your tongue?” he asked mockingly. “Listen, Icicle, just because I saved your butt doesn’t mean I always will. In fact…” He started to chuckle to himself. Okay, this guy was officially creepy. “Well, I will see you soon. But not in a way you will hope.” And his face and the dream slowly faded away.


I woke up in a cold sweat. Don’t worry, I told myself. It was just a dream. I helped myself to a few pancakes (don’t even ask me how a griddle works seventy feet in the air) and four smoothies. B.F beat me-he ate ten pancakes, drank twelve smoothies, and ate nine eggs. I don’t really know where all of that food goes. My brother’s like a black hole. I talked to Speedy for a little while (he was definitely crushing on me, EEEEEEEEEEEEKKK!!!!! SO HAPPY!!!!) and then drew a mustache on B.F while he was asleep (I promised not to punch him, but I didn’t promise I wouldn’t take revenge on him) and stuck some of his old underwear on his head (you could tell they hadn’t been washed for at least a month). A couple hours later, we were on Shark Tooth. I looked around in amazement. “This place is awesome!” I shouted. Nameless nodded. “Yup, it’s definitely improved since we last came.” Then Speedy came from behind the blimp with a huge smile on his face. “Good news!” he announced. “I just got off the phone with my boss, and he says I can have a vacation! He booked me a house on Hammerhead’s island right next to yours and told me to come back when you came back.” I could barely hide the stupid smile. Why else would he be so excited? DUH! He liked me! “That-that’s great, Speedy,” I said, trying to sound nonchalant. He nodded, looking very distracted. B.F yawned and frowned at all of us. “What’s up? Why are you all staring at me?” he demanded. I tried not to look to the top of his head too much. “Oh, nothing. We were just”-I stifled a laugh-“under.” He gave me a strange look. “Under where?” he asked. I giggled. “Exactly,” I told him. He looked mystified. Even Dad was having trouble holding it in. Then we all burst out laughing. He looked around at all of us frantically. “Um, are you guys okay?” he asked. “Oh, please, I mustache you to stop asking us questions,” Nameless said. And on came the giggles. He rolled his eyes. “Um, okay. Let’s go.”

As we were walking down, he got quite a few strange looks from people. I suppose he did look odd-a fifteen and a half year old with a peg leg, a Sharpie mustache and a dirty pair of underwear as a hat. We boarded the boat and the captain pointed at B.F and said “¿Por que existe la ropa interior en la cabeza?” B.F looked at him strangely. “Um, what?” The captain nodded. “Ingles.” So he tried again. “Why is there underwear on your head?” B.F jerked up suddenly and patted around his head until he ripped off the underwear and shoved it into his bag, looking embarrassed. “Can we just go?” he snapped. The captain raised his hands in defeat. “Vale, vale. Nadie esta tratando de atacar a usted aqui,” he said. “Speak English, nutjob!” my brother demanded. He gave B.F a dirty look. “Okay, okay. Nobody’s trying to attack you here,” he translated. And we went on in silence, the captain glaring at B.F at six minute intervals.

And we arrived at the island. My mouth dropped open.


About reilly ford

man i hope no one clicked on this profile in the last five years it was looking rough

9 thoughts on “The Tales of Two Icicles, Episode Three

  1. Pretty cool, right? I used Google Translate, so that’s Spanish. And those are the direct translations. 😉

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